Monday, May 23, 2011

All Things Considered

Grau and I went to my daughter's graduation. It was a whirlwind trip. We tried to leave at midnight Thursday night/Friday morning, but his work schedule changed and he didn't get off work until 3am. By the time we left (aka, got on the road) it was almost 5am Friday morning.

I called my favorite OK winery on the way in, only to find out they were closed, getting ready for an Open House the following day. I was bummed! I told them I was the Illinois girl only in town for 36 hours, and they told me to call them Sunday and they would help me work something out.

Awesome! I did call them on the way out of town, and they opened their winery just for me. I love this place!

As for Saturday, it was run and rush all day. I had a couple of errands, like taking Grau to Dead People's Stuff, and my favorite herbal store (they have rows and rows of vitamins/natural products, and shelf upon shelf of gallon jars filled with bulk/ raw/ dried herbs). I found the bentonite clay powder I have been unable to find in my city. I know I can get bentonite clay online, but it is so expensive. I found it at NaNa's Paw Paw Patch for pennies of the online price.

Then came the graduation itself. I tried to get good pictures, but for some reason the lighting was off. I should have a couple pics that are salvageable, we will see.
I am just happy that my daughter graduated, unpregnant. Her class alone apparently has 22 pregnant seniors. Wow. It's an epidemic.

I tried to be cordial. I think I succeeded. Daughter asked me if I wanted to sit with them (or more to the point, if I wanted them to save seats for me). So I told her yes. With my mother coming along, I knew the ex and his g/f wouldn't say anything. (They don't say things in front of witnesses.)

But the ex did try to tell me that *I* needed to do something about middle son failing math and English in his first year of college. I basically explained to him that middle son does not work like the rest of the world, that he has Aspergers and that he needed to spend more time helping his son instead of blaming him.
The ex just kept saying, 'He's 20 years old, he should figure it out by now.'
Yeah, middle son doesn't work that way.
Then the ex tried to tell me that middle son passed the first semester, but failed the second, and that he (the ex) is making everything work, but that middle son just isn't doing his part.
I replied that apparently the ex wasn't doing everything, because the ex is never home, only yells at middle son, and that the failing 0 level classes proves that the ex is not putting in the time needed and that he needed to get off his ass and work with middle son.

Yeah, that didn't go over well.
I told the ex that he can not do the work for middle son, but that he did need to yell less, and pay attention more, and follow up / sit with/ and ensure that the work is being done. Help middle son understand what it is he's doing.

Don't get me wrong, middle son is highly intelligent. In other area's. Just not math or English.

After graduation Mom, Grau and I went to Chick-Fil-A since Grau's never been. When we got home, my dad wanted to take us to dinner....and we had to go because he wanted to spend time with Grau and I. We couldn't turn him down. So we ate again. UGH.

Then we met up with friends and had a good time with a couple drinks, lots of laughs and good food (which I did not eat- I was NOT hungry, lol).

I made plans for Grau and I to have breakfast with PBF and my daughter. The real reason was to let her know I did not approve of PBF, her choices, or her keeping me out of her life, but that she was my daughter and I loved her.

Breakfast was indeed surreal. When the pleasantries and eating were over, the discussion began. I could go in to all of it, but I won't. Suffice it to say that I told her (and her pbf) I would NOT accept pbf because of several reasons: it was morally wrong, he was too old, he was still married, etc.
I said the age thing could be overcome in time, like in 20 years, but that the married thing was a deal breaker. PBF is too much like her father, cheating on his wife. I cannot and will not change my mind about that. It goes against my grain.

In the end, Grau and I said our piece, they said theirs, and the understanding of say what you feel, but at least SAY IT, was brought into the open and we left with hugs and handshakes.

We then went to my favorite winery, which was closed but they opened just for me (I love this place!) and then took off for home.

We ate lunch (technically, dinner) in Joplin, leaving when the sirens went off and in which we thought we were ahead of the storm. As it turns out, the storm was slightly in front of us, but the tornado was off to our West and we were able to pass it without harm.
We then hauled ass out of there at 80 mph...and the 'nader was going 20mph, so we won that race.

All in all, it was an informative and pressure-releasing visit. I feel better about the situation, at least.

No comments:

Post a Comment